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Dr. Vavra's ENL 121: Lit & Comp
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Spring 1998: MP # 3
A Set of Essays on Foils in Hamlet
Paper # 347     (G48 - 01)
 


 
Foils in Hamlet

(1)      There are several foils in the play “Hamlet.” [sic]  The foil that just about anyone can depict is the one of the ghost foiling Hamlet.  The ghost brings out what Hamlet really thinks about the death of his father.  The ghost is an image of his father[,] and he looks exactly like Hamlet’s father.

(2)     The similarities between the ghost and Hamlet are fairly easily picked out.  They both are males.  They are also discussing of [delete "of"] who killed Hamlet’s father.  They know that Claudius killed his father and want to revenge his father’s death. [What evidence is there that Hamlet knows that Claudius killed his father?]

(3)     The differences between the two are not quite as easy to pick out.  One obvious difference is that they differ in their appearance.  The ghost is an apparition while Hamlet is a real flesh-and-blood human being.  The ghost is also supposed to be Hamlet’s father so that would make them different in age.  The ghost is very positive of the fact of who supposedly killed Hamlet’s father while Hamlet doesn't know for sure who killed his father until he meets with the ghost and the ghost tells him. [Doesn't this contradict the previous paragraph?]
 
(4)     The ghost is in the play foiling Hamlet for multiple reasons. For one reason, the ghost is really driving Hamlet that Claudius is the murderer of this father. The ghost knows right from the beginning about Claudius. Second reason, the ghost wants revenge of Hamlet's father's death. The ghost really drives Hamlet to thinking that Claudius killed his father so that they both can revenge his father's death. Without the ghost in this play, Hamlet might not have been driven to find the murderer of his father, which he knew was Claudius. The ghost in the play drew all the attention of the killing of his father. [?] If the ghost wasn't there, the play could possibly not have been about Claudius and Hamlet's father. Hamlet wouldn't have had so much intent to prove that Claudius killed his father.

(5)     To sum all this up, without having any foils in a story, you might never know what a character is really thinking or feeling. A foil usually brings out a different side to a character. A foil can also change the course of a story or play as we saw in this play.


Outline
(1) 
I. Foils in Hamlet
 
(2)
 
 
(3)
 
 
 
(4)
 
 
(5)
    A. The ghost foils Hamlet 
      1. Similarities 
        a. Both are talking about who killed Hamlet's fathr 
        b. Both want revenge
      2. Differences 
        a. The ghost is an apparition while Hamlet is a real flesh and blood 
          human being
        b. The ghost knows who killed Hamlet's father while Hamlet doesn't
      3. Significance of the ghost
        a. Really makes Hamlet think about Claudius killing his father 
        b. Drives Hamlet to plan out and proves that Claudius killed his father 
         
 
  This outline is totally unacceptable. Please read the material on outlining under Writing as a Product and also under Writing as a Process. If you have trouble with it, please discuss it with me.

ENL 121 (Vavra) Grading Sheet for MP3B (1 of 3)
Foils in Hamlet (Revised 11/27/97)
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Audience (20)
 0 / 10
0 - 5    3 The essay has a good introductory paragraph.
0 - 5    0 The essay includes a brief definition (not in the introduction) of foils, such that a student who had not previously heard the term would understand both the concept and this essay.
0 - 5    5 The essay does not simply retell the play.
0 - 5
 
 2 
The essay has a good concluding paragraph. [What "different side" of Hamlet is explained in the essay?]
Thesis (20) 0 / 10
0 - 4    2 The thesis is recognizable, somewhere near the beginning of the essay.
0 - 4
 
 2
The thesis and essay reflect good, independent thought about Hamlet. 
0 - 4    3 The thesis and essay reflect at least an average understanding of foils.
0 - 4    3 The essay reflects at least an average understanding of foils in Hamlet.
0 - 4    0 The essay reflects an above average understanding of foils in Hamlet
 Organization (20) [The problem in this section is that the thesis is not clear. As a result, it is difficult to determine what the organization is supposed to support.]
 0 / 7 
0 - 4
 
 2
Topic sentences relate paragraphs to the thesis.
0 - 4
 
 1
Paragraphs are generally eight to ten sentences long.
0 - 4
  
 3 
Major and minor points in the outline are logically arranged.
0 - 4
 
 1 
The essay is accompanied by a typed formal outline with subdivisions to the level of capital letters, i.e., II B. The paragraphs in the essay have been numbered and the numbers of the paragraphs have been placed in parentheses next to the corresponding part of the outline.
0 - 4
  
 0 
Paragraphs reflect subdivisions of major points. (For example, more than one paragraph is devoted to a single foil.)
2 of 3
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Details (20) (Please fill in the blanks.) 
[Note: This rubric assumes that you will discuss at least two foils and be graded on the two you choose. You may discuss only one foil and use the same grades for both sections of this form.]
 0 / 6 
0 - 3
 
 2 
An explanation of similarities establsihes __Ghost____ as a foil to ______Hamlet__________.
0 - 3
 
 2 
The differences  between foil #1 (above) and __Hamlet____ and their significance to the play are explained in detail.
0 - 3
 
 2 
The function of foil # 1 as a listener on stage (and its significance to the play) is explained in detail.
0 - 1
  
 0 
The relevance of foil # 1 to the thesis [?] is explained in detail. 
0 - 3
  
 0 
An explanation of similarities establsihes ___?___ as a foil to ____?_.  [Although students were allowed to devote the entire paper to one foil, the assignment was to write a 750 to 1000 word essay. This essay is far short of that.]
0 - 3
 
 0 
The differences between foil #2 (above) and __?___ and their significance to the play are explained in detail.
0 - 3
  
 0
The function of foil # 2 as a listener on stage (and its significance to the play) is explained in detail.
0 - 1
 
 0
The relevance of foil # 1 to the thesis is explained in detail.
(3 of 3)
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Style (20)
 0 / 15 
0 - 3    3 Words are used correctly and accurately.
0 - 2    1 There are no (few) errors in usage.
0 - 2    2 Pronouns are used correctly.
0 - 2    2 Verb forms and tenses are used correctly.
0 - 3    2 All sentences are comprehensible.
0 - 2    1 Sentence structure is mature and varied.
0 - 3
 
 3
There are no (few) sloppy errors.
0 - 3
 
 1
Punctuation marks are used correctly.
Minus Style Penalty Points (May be regained by correcting errors)
 
Basic Grade for the Essay (100)  0 / 48
Penalty Points: - __________ Late          -___________ Other -
Bonus points (6 possible)
0 - 2
 
 
Brainstorming
0 - 2
 
  Outlining
0 - 2
 
  Revision
Final Grade for the Essay  0 / 48
Hostage Fifty:  
N.B. If there is anything in the "Hostage Fifty" block, your grade is being held hostage at 50 until you earn its release. To learn how, look at the "Additional Major Paper Requirements."

Student's Comments: (You can also use the back of either page.)
 


Student's Log Codes: B = Brainstorming; RR = Reading/Research; O =Outlining; TC = Tutoring Center;
D = Drafting; RV = Revising; E =Editing; G = Grading; T =Typing

NOTE: Revising = RV. Remember: use only one code per entry. (See Instructions.)

I used a word-processor __x___while drafting __x___ while revising __x___ to type my paper.
 

Date: Code Started Stopped Minutes Comments
4-16 B 11:00 11:30 20 [sic]
RR 2:00 2:20 15[sic]
4-18 O 1:30 2:00 20[sic]
D 2:00 2:45 40[sic]
E 3:00 4:30 80[sic]
4-19 T 9:00 10:00 50[sic]
  Distribution of Time:
Process Minutes % of Total
Brainstorming
20 
Read/Research
15 
Outlining
20 
Tutoring Center
Drafting
40 
18 
Revising
Editing
80 
36 
Grading
Typing
50 
22 
Total
225 
= 3.8 hours