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Dr. Vavra's ENL 121: Lit & Comp
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Spring 1998: MP # 3
A Set of Essays on Foils in Hamlet
Paper # 526     (G43 - 01)
 


 
The Morals of Revenge

1.      In Hamlet [Titles], Laertes, a minor character, who has also lost his father like Hamlet and who also seeks revenge like Hamlet was placed in the play to show that even in the game of revenge there are morals and limits that need to [be] upheld.
 
[No definition?]

2.     Hamlet and Laertes both suffered the loss of their fathers' deaths. They both seek revenge in this loss. They both seek revenge in this loss. [sic] Laertes seeks revenge on hamlet [sic], and Hamlet [Laertes?] seeks revenge even if [it] means "To cut his throat I' the church" meaning he would seek revenge even if it must be done in God's house. On the contrary, Hamlet spares the King at one point in the play because the King is praying.

3.     The King says to Laertes "No place, indeed, should murder sa[n]ctuarize. Revenge should have no bounds." This makes the reader stop and think. Then why did it have bounds [for] Hamlet? If there is no bounds where revenge is concerned why did Shakespeare not have Hamlet murder the King while he was praying? [SV -1]

4.     In short, Shakespeare used Laertres [sic] as a foil to show us that he believes that he believes [sic] that revenge   does have it[s] limits. Hamlet upholds religious morals as best as morals can be upheld where revenge is concerned. [Very short paragraph]

5. We as readers would not have realized this had there been no contrast with Hamlet's ideas on revenge had he not used Laertes, a minor character, to reveal them by his opposing views or morals where revenge was concerned.
 


Outline
(1)
 
 
 
(4?)
 
 
(3?)
 
 
(2?)
 
 
(5?)
I. Thesis 
    A. Discuss minor character Laertes 
    B. Discuss why he was placed in the play 
    C. Display theme
II. Similarities and differences 
    A. Both suffer loss of father 
    B. Both seek revenge 
      1. who they seek rebvenge upon
    C. The diffrences in this revenge
III. Why similarities and differences support the theme 
    A. The King's unmoral statement to Laertes 
    B. Note that Hamlet did different than the King suggested to Laertes 
    C. Why did Shakespeare place this foil in the play?
IV. Why the foil was used [Difference from III C?] 
    A. Restate that Shakespeare was trying to reveal this theme 
    B. State that the main character, Hamlet did uphold to the theme
V. Conclusion 
    A. Why we as readers would have never realized the theme had the foil never been used 
    B. Finish with a restatement of the theme
 
 

ENL 121 (Vavra) Grading Sheet for MP3B (1 of 3)
Foils in Hamlet (Revised 11/27/97)
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Audience (20)
 - / 9
0 - 5    2 The essay has a good introductory paragraph. [This is a gift. The first paragraph is one sentence long, and that is the thesis sentence.]
0 - 5    0 The essay includes a brief definition (not in the introduction) of foils, such that a student who had not previously heard the term would understand both the concept and this essay.
0 - 5    5 The essay does not simply retell the play.
0 - 5
 
 2
The essay has a good concluding paragraph.
Thesis (20) - / 8
0 - 4    3 The thesis is recognizable, somewhere near the beginning of the essay.
0 - 4
 
 1
The thesis and essay reflect good, independent thought about Hamlet. 
0 - 4    2 The thesis and essay reflect at least an average understanding of foils.
0 - 4    2 The essay reflects at least an average understanding of foils in Hamlet.
0 - 4    0 The essay reflects an above average understanding of foils in Hamlet
 Organization (20) 
 - / 10 
0 - 4
 
 2
Topic sentences relate paragraphs to the thesis.
0 - 4
 
 2
Paragraphs are generally eight to ten sentences long.
0 - 4
  
 2
Major and minor points in the outline are logically arranged.
0 - 4
 
 4
The essay is accompanied by a typed formal outline with subdivisions to the level of capital letters, i.e., II B. The paragraphs in the essay have been numbered and the numbers of the paragraphs have been placed in parentheses next to the corresponding part of the outline.
0 - 4
  
 0
Paragraphs reflect subdivisions of major points. (For example, more than one paragraph is devoted to a single foil.) 
2 of 3
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Details (20) (Please fill in the blanks.) 
[Note: This rubric assumes that you will discuss at least two foils and be graded on the two you choose. You may discuss only one foil and use the same grades for both sections of this form.]
 - / 5 
0 - 3
 
 3
An explanation of similarities establsihes ______ as a foil to ________________.
0 - 3
 
 1
The differences  between foil #1 (above) and ______ and their significance to the play are explained in detail.
0 - 3
 
 0
The function of foil # 1 as a listener on stage (and its significance to the play) is explained in detail.
0 - 1
  
 0
The relevance of foil # 1 to the thesis is explained in detail. 
0 - 3
  
 1
An explanation of similarities establsihes ______ as a foil to _____. 
0 - 3
 
 0
The differences between foil #2 (above) and _____ and their significance to the play are explained in detail.
0 - 3
 
 0
The function of foil # 2 as a listener on stage (and its significance to the play) is explained in detail.
0 - 1
 
 0
The relevance of foil # 1 to the thesis is explained in detail.
(3 of 3)
Possible 
Points
Student's 
Grading
Instructor's 
Grading
Description Totals
Style (20) 
 - / 12 
0 - 3    2 Words are used correctly and accurately.
0 - 2    1 There are no (few) errors in usage.
0 - 2    2 Pronouns are used correctly.
0 - 2    2 Verb forms and tenses are used correctly.
0 - 3    2 All sentences are comprehensible.
0 - 2    1 Sentence structure is mature and varied.
0 - 3
 
 0
There are no (few) sloppy errors. [Repetitions of sentences]
0 - 3
 
 2
Punctuation marks are used correctly.
Minus Style Penalty Points (May be regained by correcting errors)
-1 
Basic Grade for the Essay (100)  - / 43
Penalty Points: - __________ Late          -___________ Other 
[There were no storming notes or drafts in the envelope. I could have (should have) deducted 20 more points, but I decided the grade was low already.]
-
Bonus points (6 possible)
0 - 2
 
 
Brainstorming
0 - 2
 
  Outlining
0 - 2
 
  Revision
Final Grade for the Essay  - / 43
Hostage Fifty:  
N.B. If there is anything in the "Hostage Fifty" block, your grade is being held hostage at 50 until you earn its release. To learn how, look at the "Additional Major Paper Requirements."

Student's Comments: (You can also use the back of either page.)
 


Student's Log
Codes: B = Brainstorming; RR = Reading/Research; O =Outlining; TC = Tutoring Center;
D = Drafting; RV = Revising; E =Editing; G = Grading; T =Typing

NOTE: Revising = RV. Remember: use only one code per entry. (See Instructions.)

I used a word-processor _____while drafting _____ while revising _____ to type my paper.
 

Date: Code Started Stopped Minutes Comments
4-15
B
9:00am
10:00pm
45
[I don't understand how someone could log from 9AM to 10PM and claim only 45 minutes]
B 5:00pm 6:00pm 60
4-16
O
10:00am
11:00am
60
4-18
D/RV
11:00am
3:00pm
200
 [Grrr]
4-19
D/RV
11:00pm
1:00am
100
 [Grrr]
4-19 T 1:00am 2:00am 60
 
Distribution of Time:
Process Minutes % of Total
Brainstorming
105 
20 
Read/Research
Outlining
60 
11 
Tutoring Center
Drafting
150 
29 
Revising
150 
29 
Editing
Grading
Typing
60 
11 
Total
525 
= 8.8 hours